I Don't Know Whether to Laugh or Cry

I dont know how to say this, so just pulling the band aid off and here we go....I'm NOT moving to the Queen Charlottes! After a week of emails and phone calls, I finally got to meet Patrick. We went out for dinner, had a lovely not wierd meal,talked about the best way to transport everything, made tentative plans to hang out on Saturday......and I never heard from him again! I finally sent him an email asking what was up and a day later got a reply that if I still wanted to come and be a cook I could but he wasnt interested in pursuing any kind of
relationship with me. Not that I expected anything in stone but he had gone on for the whole week about how great it was he found me, just what he wanted blah ,blah ,blah so quite a shock to be dissed like that for no apparant reason ( he had met me before and seen pictures so I wasnt a surprise). Anyway, I dont need to be stuck in the bush with no promise of pay, no love life, and no job or home to come back to in September, so I passed on that.

In the meantime as I had told David I was moving mid month, he had already rented out my apartment, so once again, I have moved, this time in with David at his float home. Not how things were supposed to go at all. Maybe the universe wants us to be together for some reason. I keep trying to leave and get thrown back here every time.

Since this all happened, Ive had a new idea every day about what to do next. One day I was going to buy my friends van and live in it. A good nights sleep on that idea and I decided it wasnt really feasable with the cat.

Then I was going to clean up the boat that sank here at Christmas and live on that , but it sank again the next day, so I passed on that too.

Then Steve offered me a 20x25 foot concrete float that I could put a trailer or something on, until I sort myself out. Ive been looking into the idea of putting shipping containers on it and bulding some kind of house out of them. Not really keen on living in narrow metal boxes tho, still trying to wrap my head around that.

I heard about a boat a guy was desperate to move and sounded like he would sell for very cheap. I just talked to him and found out he is making payments on 17,000 still owing on the boat....ouch, too rich for me and I told him so. He mostly just wants to not deal with the moorage fees right now, so has offered it to me as a free place to live if I move it here and pay the moorage on it. I wont own it, but will have a home for the time being while I work on what to do next with my life. I am supposed to go and see it on Monday, so will have a better idea then if I will go that route. I am getting a little leary of the whole boat senario.

I have been in such an emotional turmoil the last few weeks, I didnt want to post here, but then I thought, oh well this is my life, such as it is. Some day I will look back on all of this and think something about the way I handled it all. So I decided to take this all with a laugh and not stress about it anymore, its one day at a time, with things apt to change at a moments notice.

Stay tuned for the inner workings of a menopausal mind as I try and sort my life out.