Thursday, January 1, 2009

Reflections

Well Happy New Years to you all, may 2009 bring you peace, good health, and lots of new adventures.

2008 was an interesting year. Like most of the years of my life it was fraught with many changes and challenges.


The marina where I live underwent a ton of changes. Lots of boats and people had to leave and the whole energy of the place shifted dramatically. It was a time of high anxiety and sadness. Things have mellowed out here alot lately buts its very quiet and I miss the company of the people who lived down here.

I lived on my boat for half the year, then hauled it out into the shop for the other half. I didnt think I would be a landmonkey for this long. Working on the boat has fluctuated between being exhilerating, boring, optimistic, overwhelming and a whole host of other feelings. I had hoped to have it all done and back in the water by the end of the year but at this point I am nowhere close to that.

I didn't do a single thing to the boat all of December. Between work, the holidays and the weather especially, I didnt have the time or motivation. Hopefully January brings me a new surge of energy and optimism so I can get on with things. I was looking over my posts from 2008 and it reminded me how much I had already accomplished and how much love and energy I put into it. Not the time to quit now!

Work was good this year, I had lots when I needed it and time off when I needed it with always enough money to do what needed to be done. I enjoyed working at the clinic, it was alot less stressful then working on-call. It was awesome to have a steady paycheck and hours for a change.

For years now I have wanted to teach a course and/or use the material to write a book about all I've learned about health care and life. For some reason I never felt ready before but suddenly I do. Ive been going over my notes and references and putting it all together. I need a place to teach from but am sure it will manifest itself when the time is right. I am excited as Im sure this is what Im meant to do, but have been putting it off forever. Time to make the shift and watch it happen.

Physically it was a good year. My tendinitis finally cleared up after 6 months of hell. Ive gained some weight which doesn't please me, so will try harder to incorporate some regular exercise into my life and cut back on the junk food at night syndrome.I also vow to try and get at least one massage a month and take better care of myself.

My asthma has had a rough time of things between smoking like a chimney and living in this dustbowl, so to that end, David and I will try to quit smoking. The other day I bought an electronic cigarette. It looks like a cigarette, the white part is a battery, the filter area holds a vial of nicotene which sits on a vaporizer. When you take a drag on it, the vaporizer gives you a dose of nicotene ( it comes in flavors of Marlborough tobacco, cherry or mint). The end of the cigarette glows red when you take a drag and you breathe out a puff of water vapor. So it looks ,acts and tastes like a cig,but no harmful vapours or smoke to bother others. Wish us luck, Ive done this twice before, quitting once for a year and another time for eight years. Hopefully third ones a charm!

My relationship with David went through some ups and downs but we are still here and stronger for having worked through some issues. He has been a real inspiration to me to take life by the horns and think positively. Nothing is impossible in his eyes and his ability to get things done has made a big impression on me. I continue to learn and grow in this relationship.

For many of my family members this was a year of loss. We had uncles, cousins, life long friends and most recently my brothers mother-in-law who lost her battle with cancer on Christmas Eve, leave us this year. May their souls rest in peace, you are all loved and missed.

I wasnt sure what to expect at the beginning of 2008. It didn't go quite as expected but all in all a good year. I think 2009 will bring many more changes. I'm hoping they will all be postive ones. For this year I want to manifest my teaching career, a healthier body,and a reconnection to spirit. I will strive to find more balance in my life by making time for friends,the gym,and my creative side. May the universe give me the focus to accomplish this.

Best of luck to all of you for the New Year, may all your dreams come true! xxoo Rhianna

2 comments:

rob said...

Thankyou for sjharing that Rhianna, may you achieve all you want to in the new year too! Smoking is like giving up alcohol (for an alcoholic) I truly believe that you (one) will always be a smoker, much the same as alchoholics believe they will always be an alcoholic after they have "given up the sauce", and that the next cigarette you have ( after you make up your mind to stop) will put you straight back on the road to smoking proper. I also believe that because of that there are no half measures, no placebos or other items that will help you to stop, other than maybe chewing a coctail stick, chewing gum (eugh!) or match, initially to get over the comfort need for something to chew on. I wish you the best of luck with your efforts to stop smoking. and should you pick the right time to do it? you will be successful again, I am sure but remember its only the next cigarette that will cause you to go back to it! so only stop the first one ( just one cigarette :o)) ) and don`t be tempted by others!

cyberangel said...

Hi Rob, thanks for your words of encouragement. I actually don't have a problem quitting per say. Once I make up my mind thats what I want to do, thats it. The only reason I started again both times was because of weight gain. I put on 30 lbs the first year I quit and over 60 lbs the second time. I was very careful about what I ate, no alcohol, Mcdonalds or junk food. Lots of salmon, veggies and exercise but the weight packed on anyways, very discouraging to say the least. I decided if I was going to be unhealthy, Id rather smoke and die skinny than too fat for the coffin. Right now its just the withdrawal symptoms that are annoying, they dont make me want to smoke at all, just hard to deal with.

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